Esok last day aku keja kat shah alam h.ct. tak tau nak rasa ape, rase sedih pun ada, rase lega pun ada. Maybe sbb dah tak larat lagi kot. Kitaorg keja 10 days, many things we have gained there. Tak tcerita smuanya tp nakla share sket experience. Mar pun ada tulis gak dlm blog die pasal our adventure kat sane, sedikit sbyk korg can get the general idea, bacelah blog die, cewah promote lak. Tapi aku pun ade version aku though the environment is the same. 1st DAY kitaorg dtg n tconggok depan civil registry kat shah alam h.ct, bgn sayap kiri pg2 lg.(mcm parti politik plak). Pastu ptemuan sekian lama, mbuahkan hasil iaitu gosip2 tbaru yg hangat di pasaran uia, dah lama tak keep up, hehe. Smua tunggu tuan yg garang, takut nak masuk sampai dpt arahan. Akhirnya, penantian yg ditunggu sekian lama tjadi gak. Malangnya kitaorg tak bwk blazer n xle ditempatkan di ct, so jadik freelance, tgk kes2 frm the public gallery, did not enjoy the experience. Bosan..so gi subang parade nak carik blazer. Muna n kaot balik uia, amik blazer. Mar yg beli, aku tgk je, hehe 2nd DAY aku siap pakai black n white, ala2 gaya lawyer betul with my black long skirt n white blouse, tetibe ct xde prosiding coz ct vacation. Tpaksela keja kat bgn docs n civil registry(processing n fixing). Dahla aku pakai baju black n white, org lain sempoi je pakai baju kurung(staff), so I really look ackward. Even lawyers yg dtg pun asyik tgk je..pastu blur tak tau nak buat ape, mintak kakak kat bgn tu bg keja. Aku pun buat la keja dgn tekunnya, bgn bankrapsi..memule sblm mintak keja, duduk tmenung main phone depan fail2 yg btimbun. Byk betul kes yg ttunggak..abg kat sblh aku tu plak asyik mgacau aku, kalo tak tido, myoal aku mcm2(mcm private investigator plak), tak larat nak layan, kalo tak, die scrutinize ape yg aku pakai n buat, rimas betul la…sambil buat keja, aku ada gak try2 nak baca docs , ikut advice ira tp xphm, yela xblaja lg kan. nak tanya malu sbb smua nampak bz except abg kat sblh aku…kul 4 confident je dah abis keja, ajak mar n kaot gi jumpa tuan, dah kena marah tak baca docs n tanya kat staff. Kitaorg pun balik n try blaja, aku n kaot buat2 baca docs sambil grumbling(we were not informed, blur la kan). Mar dah bz btanya dah… 3rd DAY best sket sbb buat kat atas, power attorney. Dpt kenal gan k.azrah(jurubahasa datuk ideres), k.anem, n abg hashim. Keja xbyk tp cop2la.aku bz betul amik nota n btanya.yela, smlm tak tanya kan so esok tu aku tanyala puas2 sampai kak anem tu irritated coz I asked too much, hehe. Abg hashim asyik suruh aku senyum je, aku pun xphm, buat keja mestila serius kan? Nnt org kata SS, syok sendiri, hehe. aku pun nak jadik budak baikla kan, so kul 4 tu aku turun nak photostate some docs yg nak blaja(takkan nak salin all those agreements)n bla,bla.. tetibe tuan dtg n marah. Muna slambe je, aku yg tkebil2(speechless). Geram betul aku kat tuan, smlm suruh blaja, bile nak blaja nak kena bayar plak siap buat lakonan smula dlm otak, ish..tak baik. Tuan tak garang sbenarnya, maybe aku je yg xphm niat die, confuse sket… 4th DAY ni plg best sbb aku dpt duduk kat tpt call2, mcm receptionist plak, tp tak call pun, hehe. susun docs ikut nom, blaja kes mane yg dipindahkan ke ct ape..etc. Mentor aku, abg amin kena gi meeting, so aku pun mrayapla kacau muna n kaot. Sblm tu nak cite, abg amin tu ckp pun aku xdgr, perlahan gile, kalo cal lawyer suruh amik doc pun slow sgt. aku pun saje je jahat buat2 xdgr, terus volume die on, hehe. last2 mar, aku n kaot gi jln2 tgk ct proceedings with tuan’s permission. Muna xikut coz byk keja. ptg aku nak sambung keja which is call2, tp phone kena amik sbb dieorg nak test internet line(baru nak install). Mine u, the system is still filing n not computerized. Aku pun bosan, sambil borak n bloyar buruk gan abg amin, aku susun fail n cuba mmahami what the ct staffs are going thru’. Take note it is not easy to process all those docs n fulfill the needs of at least 4000 applications per day. N that is only for one department. imagine four?? Mostly laywers are not likeable, no offence but some do come with attitude probs. Taula nak cepat but they(da staff) are working their best n at their optimum level(quoting judge datin paduka zaleha’s words to me n some lawyers).she was explaining some things to lawyers so that they will understand the ct’s prob. Pastu borak gan kat siti, more enlightment about certain lawyer’s rude attitude n blaja kod2 mahkamah n saman pmula n stuff… 5th DAY ingat kena gi tpt civil, tetibe tuan suruh blaja criminal. Aku duduk gan k.lia yg cun wif mar n muna n kaot duduk gan abg khairol a.k.a abg vest, haha. Byk pasal kes criminal n docs. N dapat tgk pics arwah noor suzaily, sedih sgt, I almost cried. Kejam betul si hanafi tu..ARGHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! byk gak kitaorg blaja kat situ, mcm2 kes(baca blog mar), cewah promote lagik..yg tak sanggup baca testi budak india yg nampak arwah masa she was in the bus crying for help. When I read it, I can’t imagine the kid’s feelings. Sure helpless sbb tak dapat tlg n found out that she ended up dead. Ptg gi tgk kes2 kat ct lagik… ……… to be continued
Friday, June 18, 2004
POEM WRITTEN IN FRIENDSTER BULLETIN BOARD
there is nothing more beautiful, than having this friendship that we share, though i am very grateful, the thought of losing u i can't bear. how i cheerish those times n moment, when we would share jokes n laughter, those times i would treasure n put in my heart to remember. we will be friends forever, through the ups and down of life, together we will venture, the true meaning of being alive. here you and me, forever friends we will be, nothing will keep us apart, you are too special in my heart. i will always be there for you, sharing all that u go thru', or even when u feel blue.. we are good friends till whenever, that i will always remember... created personally by: HiDa
Posted by Girl Behind A Shadow at Friday, June 18, 2004 0 comments
Thursday, June 17, 2004
dedicated to someone special
together you and me, good friends we used to be, we used to joke, laugh and teased each other, friends till the end forever. but then i made a mistake by giving you a letter, and i cannot take back what i did, no matter. look at what i have gained, nothing but just sheer pain, nothing could change what i've done, weeks have turned into months, just hope that we could restore, the frienship that we had before.
Posted by Girl Behind A Shadow at Thursday, June 17, 2004 0 comments
malasnye nak balik uia
actually, i've been moping around the house since march. i really can't imagine how am i going to face a day filled with classes. the very thought of having to wake up early, ironing my clothes n get ready to class has already made me yawning. am i a lazy bum?probably. i mean after all, i am so used to waking up not that early n doing the daily routines which i shall not mention here. god, give me strength to face all my friends, lecturers, the gruelling hours of lectures, the torturing moments of tutorials.arghh... despite that, however i am amazed to say that actually i miss all those activities which means that now i have something to look forward to, such as exams??? n not tv shows???arghhh... p/s: grateful to be a student
Posted by Girl Behind A Shadow at Thursday, June 17, 2004 0 comments
Sunday, May 30, 2004
american idol? m'sian idol? did they sto the war? IDOL?
talkin once again about american idol, malaysia has also created the exact entertainment show which in now busy touring around malaysia to find those who are interested to be in the show. but once again i was struck by the word idol.is it that easy to be an idol? it may seem clear to everbody that it is the singing competition that will eventually determine whether u are a star or not. but with deeper observation, the words used are something else. it is true that once u win or probably juz be in the top 12,u will have ur own fans n stardom but i wonder why is everybody esp m'sians here are so eager to be the next popstar n to be idolized by their voices instead of their contibutions to the country, the nation, and religion n be a real m'sian idol in the truest sense. p/s: i wonder how come ppl like those uitm students who climbed mount. everest didn't get as much attention as this m'sian idol. see how the west has once again succeeded in making this show into one of the most watched singing competition.when will we have our own original n successful educatonal but yet entertaining shows? i wonder...
Posted by Girl Behind A Shadow at Sunday, May 30, 2004 0 comments
copy-cats
skang ni american idol dah habis. dah tau pmenangnye is fantasia barrino. well, i think that she deserves to win. after all her performance was great. talking about american idol, it's funny seeing that now in m'sia, most tv shows are also creating shows somewhat like american idol though in a different version.take for example audition, the really latest copy-cat entertainment show. why are they competing? back to this audition show, it is somewhat a combination of akademi fantasia version n american idol. by showing their routines n practices it is something like akademi fantasia, then the last lowest three must perform b4 being voted off is definitely american idol's version.then raja azura will make this sympathetic voice exactly like aznil in a.f juz to make the audience feel a little emotional.god, can't they have their own identity? well, who am i to judge cause i know out there,there are still many ppl watchin' n enjoying da show, not to forget vote as well. p/s: the acting is quite original though...
Posted by Girl Behind A Shadow at Sunday, May 30, 2004 0 comments
american idol?m'sian idol?did they stop the war?IDOL??????
talkin once again about american idol, malaysia has also created the exact entertainment show which in now busy touring around malaysia to find those who are interested to be in the show. but once again i was struck by the word idol.is it that easy to be an idol? it may seem clear to everbody that it is the singing competition that will eventually determine whether u are a star or not. but with deeper observation, the words used are something else. it is true that once u win or probably juz be in the top 12,u will have ur own fans n stardom but i wonder why is everybody esp m'sians here are so eager to be the next popstar n to be idolized by their voices instead of their contibutions to the country, the nation, and religion n be a real m'sian idol in the truest sense. p/s: i wonder how come ppl like those uitm students who climbed mount. everest didn't get as much attention as this m'sian idol. see how the west has once again succeeded in making this show into one of the most watched singing competition.when will we have our own original n successful educatonal but yet entertaining shows? i wonder...
Posted by Girl Behind A Shadow at Sunday, May 30, 2004 0 comments
copy-cats
skang ni american idol dah habis. dah tau pmenangnye is fantasia barrino. well, i think that she deserves to win. after all her performance was great. talking about american idol, it's funny seeing that now in m'sia, most tv shows are also creating shows somewhat like american idol though in a different version.take for example audition, the really latest copy-cat entertainment show. why are they competing? back to this audition show, it is somewhat a combination of akademi fantasia version n american idol. by showing their routines n practices it is something like akademi fantasia, then the last lowest three must perform b4 being voted off is definitely american idol's version.then raja azura will make this sympathetic voice exactly like aznil in a.f juz to make the audience feel a little emotional.god, can't they have their own identity? well, who am i to judge cause i know out there,there are still many ppl watchin' n enjoying da show, not to forget vote as well. p/s: the acting is quite original though...
Posted by Girl Behind A Shadow at Sunday, May 30, 2004 0 comments
Wednesday, May 05, 2004
perjuangan kita!!!
sadis sungguh melihat kekejaman yg dilakukan oleh askar inggeris ini. tidak pasti sama ada ini askar inggeris atau askar amerika. tp yg pentingnya betapa mudah mereka merendahkan maruah manusia terutama org islam. beginikah yg dikatakan hak asasi manusia yg begitu hebat dilaungkan oleh george bush dan tony blair?????? sejak dulu lagi aku mmg tak bminat dgn keluarga BUSH ni, umpama semak yg menyesakkan. dari dulu aku mmg benci dgn bapanya yg menyerang iraq. tatkala itu aku masih di sekolah rendah namun aku cukup mengerti penderitaan rakyat iraq. masih ku ingat aku akan meludah dan menaikkan kaki ke tv jika ada gambar si tua bush tu keluar. mungkin keterlaluan pbuatan ku, tapi tengokla apa yg terhasil dari baka keluarga si tua tu??? anak yg tak ubah seperti perangai nye... geram betul aku. terasa ingin menangis melihat saban hari pbuatan mereka ini disiarkan didada akhbar. entahla ke mana hilangnya akal fikiran mereka. tapi ku cuba bsabar dengan memikirkan yg mereka mungkin dibalas dgn hukuman yg lebih dasyat dari Allah di hari muka. tentunya lebih dasyat dari ini... apepun aku akan sentiasa mendoakan semoga suatu hari nanti, kekejaman ini akan berakhir. aku tahu, aku tidak mampu untuk bjuang dengan senjata atau kuasa namun kuasa yg ku ada hanya untuk memohon kepada Allah agar mereka menerima hukuman yg setimpal dan umat islam dapat diselamatkan.amin!
Posted by Girl Behind A Shadow at Wednesday, May 05, 2004 0 comments
Saturday, May 01, 2004
check out my photos!!!
there are at http://photos.yahoo.com/hidatod_prettysimple
Posted by Girl Behind A Shadow at Saturday, May 01, 2004 0 comments
lyrics of a song by christina aguilera
THE VOICE WITHIN Young girl don't cry I'll be right here when your world starts to fall Young girl it's alright Your tears will dry, you'll soon be free to fly When you're safe inside your room you tend to dream Of a place where nothing's harder than it seems No one ever wants or bothers to explain Of the heartache life can bring and what it means Chorus: When there's no one else, look inside yourself Like your oldest friend just trust the voice within Then you'll find the strength that will guide your way You'll learn to begin to trust the voice within Young girl don't hide You'll never change if you just run away Young girl just hold tight Soon you're gonna see your brighter day Now in a world where innocence is quickly claimed It's so hard to stand your ground when you're so afraid No one reaches out a hand for you to hold When you look outside look inside to your soul Chorus Life is a journey It can take you anywhere you choose to go As long as you're learning You'll find all you'll ever need to know (Be strong) You'll break it (Hold on) You'll make it Just don't forsake it because No one can tell you what you can't do No one can stop you, you know that I'm talking to you Chorus Young girl don't cry I'll be right here when your world starts to fall
Posted by Girl Behind A Shadow at Saturday, May 01, 2004 0 comments
KEKASIHKU… I LOVE YOU!!
A’KUM, Nak share tentang KEKASIH aku? (aku type huruf besar tu sbb aku terlampau sayang sgt kat DIA). Penyayang sifatnya. Betul ni….tak tipu punye! Pure cinta lah nak dikategorikan tu. Apa taknya masa aku susah, minta tolong sajalah pd DIA. Sure akan dtg bantuan. Bila aku susah hati, bole terus ngadu kat DIA direct! Yg bestnye tu, bila aku dah ngadu kat DIA, terase peace aje. For surelah…KEKASIH kan! …ish …beruntung betul dapat KEKASIH cam ni. Tak pernah nak sakitkan hati aku. Bile2 masa jer aku bole contact DIA. Yg seronok tu mmg betul rasa DIA tu dekaaat kat hati ni!. Ye laa…cinta punya psl kan…DIA x kisah pon kalo aku x ingat kat DIA, tp rugilah aku, sbb kalo aku ingat n contact jer DIA, sure macam2 la yg aku dapat. X kirelah, material ke …spiritual ke…emm..mmg KEKASIH sejatilah tu! Bila aku rindu kat DIA, baca jer surat2 yg DIA bagi tu. Macam2 nasihat ada dlm tu. Siap bg example lagi nak suruh aku faham. Sblm ni, aku pernah gak frust. Mmg sedih giler la masa tu. Ye laa….cinta bagai nak rak, tetibe putus, clash gitu aje…wwaaa… Tp KEKASIH aku yg ni lain, DIA tak kisah pon dgn cerita aku frust tu. Siap bg semangat lagi. DIA xjeles pon, Cuma aku jer yg slalu jeles gan DIA, sbb ramai yg jatuh cinta gan DIA ni. So, aku pon kenalah usaha betul2 …kata org putih…what u give… u’ ll get back…so kalo aku usaha lebih sket, aku dapat lebihlah kan?... KEKASIH aku ni baik sesangat. Perfect! Tu yg kdg2 aku tgh2 malam… area kul 3-4 pg tu pon, kalo aku terjaga, aku sure akan contact DIA. Rindulah………!!! Sebenarnya KEKASIH aku ni kaya tau….millionaire….billionaire ntah ape naire lg. tu yg pemurah sgt tuh. Semua keperluan hidup aku, DIA yg support…caya tak??!!... Free of charge…. Tp aku x sedap hati laa… mestila kena hargai apa yg DIA bg tu kan?.. mak aku kata, kalo org dah bg, suke ke,x suke ke , amik ajela, pastu pepandailah nak membalas budi…..jadi, tu yg buat aku sanggup berkorban apa saja………..cewwaahh!!............DIA suruh aku blajar sungguh2...kalo bole blajar sumer ilmu…sbb KEKASIH aku ni mmg cerdik + bijak + genius….DIA kata, tanpa ilmu, setiap amal yg aku buat semua sia2. DIA pon makin saaayyyang kat aku kalo aku rajin blajar. Malu sebenarnya nak cakap ni …….tp aku belum pernah jumpa DIA lg pon. Belum bersedia la…. tp KEKASIH aku ni dah janji , satu hari nanti, mesti kami akan bertemu. Sekarang menghitung hari la aku ni…….. tp kecut perut gak...! takuuuuuut! Maklumlah….x pernah jumpe. Aku mesti prepare awal2 drpd surat2 yg ada tu,aku tahu apa yg DIA suka , dan apa yg DIA tak suka . mestila aku nak buat apa yg DIA suka , so that DIA tambah2 sayang la kat aku kan…?....Tak per lah ….. berkorban sekarang , sbb DIA dah janji, sape2 yg DIA sayang, DIA bg hadiah special yg aku sendiri x penah tpikir pon!.. Isssyhhh……Rindu sgt dah ni…..! “KEKASIH ku ….aku berjanji, aku akan pertahankan cinta suci ini….walau nyawa digalang gantikan, menggadaikan cinta teragung ini tidak sama sekali…..walaupun tak pernah berjumpa, aku tetap bahagia……Itulah KEKASIH ku …….ALLAH S.W.T ………. Cinta Teragungku ……….” hasil nukilan,seorg hamba Allah(sekadar bkongsi perasaan dengannya)
Posted by Girl Behind A Shadow at Saturday, May 01, 2004 0 comments
poem takde tittle
Andai kebahagiaan yang ku cari, mengapa derita jua yang datang, Selama ini kudambakan cinta, namun ia tidak pernah hadir. Adakah nasib diri yang malang atau jodoh yang masih belum ditemui, Adakah ini semua ketentuan Ilahi, andai benar aku redha. Semalam, aku termimpi lagi. Terimbau kembali kenangan lalu, Adakah ia memberi erti, Atau sekadar igauan ngeri Hidup sunyi tiada erti, Andai tiada kekasih hati, Andai dikau memahami, Luahan naluri ini, Sudikah kau menjadi penghuni, Kepada kamar hati yang sepi? Aku masih disini, Berdiri sepi menanti, Kehadiran kekasih yang diimpi, Namun aku masih sendiri 22 march 2004 7.30 pm
Posted by Girl Behind A Shadow at Saturday, May 01, 2004 0 comments
NOSTALGIA SEMALAM
Semalam, Ku miliki segalanya, Ku punyai dirimu, cintamu jua, Terasa dunia ini hanya aku yang punya Semalam, Kasih kita masih mewangi, Cinta kita masih abadi, Ikatan kita yang masih berseri, Hanya tinggal memori Semalam, Perlukah kau melukai hatiku, Dengan kata-kata dusta darimu, Lidah terasa kelu, bibir menjadi bisu, Titisan jernih mengalir laju Semalam, Tinggal sebuah kenangan, Hancur segala harapan, Berkecai segala impian, Putuslah sebuah ikatan Hari ini, Mimpi indah tiada lagi, Tawa, gurau senda lenyap, Dibawa angin sepi, Sesepi hatiku yang masih terluka, Kerana nostalgia semalam 3 NOVEMBER 2002 3.43 a.m
Posted by Girl Behind A Shadow at Saturday, May 01, 2004 0 comments
THE ONE
My boyfriend and I first communicated through the latest technology which was messages through mobile phones. It was a few months talking on the phone that we finally decided to meet. We were both pretty nervous and I almost ran away. Then the rest was history. He was not exactly the kind of guy I would date but at the age of eighteen, he was the first boyfriend I had in life. Therefore, I was grateful that someone would actually love me for who I am. He loved me for all the things that I am, loved me more than any guy I have known in my entire life. We had a very great relationship at first, and then we started having disagreements. It continued a few months later. I was always angry at him for not always making the calls. Calls were a big part in our relationship, this was due to the fact that we live far apart and hardly have the chance to meet. Soon the calls that used to connect us were not as frequent as before we were a couple. I started rethinking about our relationship which somehow had lost its shine. There was nothing wrong with him, my boyfriend. He was a wonderful, sweet and loving guy, but the problem lay in me. I could not lie to my heart, that deep down I knew he was not the one, the one guy that I can never really love with all my heart. Knowing that was the real problem, I knew the only solution was to let him go. My heart ached remembering the times and memories that both of us shared. He was my first boyfriend and the only guy bestfriend I ever had. We both cried when I ended our relationship. My heart broke knowing well that I have hurt him deeply. It hurt me too especially when he begged me to reconsider my decision. But I remained firm with my decision till today though I know that after almost three years, he still loves me. We are now good friends. He remained single and I still have not met “the one” but I’m sure someday I will. Who knows it was actually him that I was waiting for.
Posted by Girl Behind A Shadow at Saturday, May 01, 2004 0 comments
the real story behind this hols..
hida tau macam mana takutnya perasaan mati.byk benda hida blaja masa cuti ni.walaupun tak amik shortsem tp rasanya ilmu kat umah ni pun tak abis blaja.dugaan kali ni,spt yg sesape tau,kakak hida sakit,skang alhamdullillah dah sembuh.skang dah bsalin tp tibe2 ayah hida sakit.masa tu Allah je yg tau betapa hibanya perasaan kami sekeluarga. skang baru tau mhargai keluarga.bkn tak mhargai selama ni tp sekurang2nya tau sejauh mana pgorbanan mereka sbb skang kena bantu pikul tangungjawab itu. makin dewasa, makin kita sedar ttg pgorbanan org lain... ni dah masuk 2x hida jaga anak kakak2 hida dr umur sehari sampai abis pantang,bkn senang.wat susula, tukat diaper,mandi n lapkan,muak lg,pastu nak kena hayun nak tido.kakak sulung dulu,ibu byk tlg,tp skang bz kat hosp tgk ayah.jd hida kena tlg extra.tu pun ramai pembantu yg tlg.dulu kalau mak kita, mcm mana ye? bile kite beranak pun ibu kite yg jaga,terukkan kite,susahkan dia lg.. satu lg...bila sambut birthday asyik fikir ape hadiah yg dpt kali ni,tp lps tgk kakak bsalin, tpikir tak penah pun wish kat ibu thank you sbb susah lahirkan kita on that day. tp smua itu masih blm tlewat jika kita tsedar skang...
Posted by Girl Behind A Shadow at Saturday, May 01, 2004 0 comments